Shaky Foot Wisdom
XXVIII.
Desire, Where for Art Thou?
March 20, 2021 When even desire has left the building, what then? Where goest thou? Should tries in vain to speak even though knowing the rule that one is never to ‘should’ on themselves. Here we are hearing all the should: should exercise, should eat better, should even move about more, should even tap into desires to see if beneath the hood of this ’52 Plymouth still has a working switch to fire the ignition?
Some call it depression feeding upon itself like a carnivorous plant. Fake it until you make it, an old friend, cannot even to be counted upon to initiate action other than working a meager four hours at to see if there remains anything beyond a paycheck, other than just that, a four hour grind on the phone, forcing myself to attempt to sound chipper whilst yammering all the time.
What is left dear desire other than this attempt to reconnect with you here, to ask again, desire where for art thou? What is one thing you would have me do? Before the question is spoken, I know the answer: in all these times of sitting, why not begin to sit longer at my altar and practice desiring nothing than sitting, sitting as still as a rock, no wind of storms paid heed, similarly no mind chatter nor emotional derailment attempt—even if a damsel is tied to the railroad tracks.
Perhaps desire, I will rediscover you there, still present in the stillness of sitting, sitting like a rock.
