Shaky Foot Wisdom
I Am Bold in the Present Moment
“For, it is as if I went to sleep one night
and awakened in the breathtaking beauty
of a new morning. I was not who I was
the night before. Instead, I was the man
who came before Parkinson’s robbed
him of sleep for over a year!”
The above stanza is from my most recent poem, If You Genuinely Believe in A Celestial Being. It is true, of all the changes that Parkinson’s has wrought, this was the blow that struck me to the core, not having a single restful night’s sleep for over a year. Sleep deprivation is a beast.
And quite quickly after my neurologist prescribe an additional medication to allow me to sleep most nights through the night, something quite remarkable happened! The man I was (before the long endless nights of waking, sleeping, and waking sleeping, and on and on…) returned in dramatic fashion. Almost immediately, my mind, my attitude and my creativity sparked awake as if awakening from a deep slumber.
I created a new affirmation that is true in my life right now: I am bold in the present moment. Truer words cannot be spoken. With sleep deprivation my creativity had slumped to authoring a new poem every ten days or more. Now, in the midst of my quite literal awakening, I am wildly creative, authoring a new poem nearly every single day.
Sleep deprivation had indeed robbed me of more than just stealing away restful sleep. I half-heartedly would tell friends that I suffered from a case of self-diagnosed ‘lackawanna,’ meaning my oomph and get up and go was depleted as well.
With fatigue and lack of sufficient energy, over the past year I had quit attending Poetry Readings and quit my own Spoken Word Performance as well.
Just yesterday, I have reunited with two other dear poet friends to again create, produce, and publicize a new event, Three ‘Exstatic’ Poets for One Evening. This feels like the Reunion Tour, like what musicians would call getting the band back together. I have the energy to do this once more. So, yesterday with just two phone calls, I booked the venue for the night in May, created a Facebook Event and created an Event Poster.
Though I still struggle with body stiffness (especially in the morning), and musculoskeletal pain, I am back so many ways, especially creatively and my ‘lackawanna’ is mostly gone. I do remind myself to not overdo it, which is only prudent.
I have regained so much in just getting many restful nights of sleep. I smile and laugh more. I feel happy and content with my life and the best life that I and my wife are creating. I feel something I have not felt for the past year, a feeling of sweet confidence and satisfaction that comes from returning to what I love.
Hope is back folks! It never left. For, I am bold in the present moment.