09 Oct

Shaky Foot Wisdom


October 9, 2020

Deconstructing into Silence

Recently while listening to a podcast on Beyond Awakening, I again tapped into the wisdom of Roshi Jun Po Denis Kelly, a Hollow Bones Order Zen Priest.  I may have mentioned here before how Roshi’s words have continued to impact me since a Zen retreat a number of years ago and subsequent interview with him on my radio show, Journey into Oneness, on Co-Creator Network. At that interview he was talking about having survived Stage 4 Throat Cancer and said the words that I carry with me to this day, “Its not dying that scares me, its living.”

Here I am living now with a diagnosis of Parkinson’s and what that means for my life path.  And new wisdom is heard as Roshi talked about his own diagnosis of Parkinson’s and how we are each born from the silence and our entire life is about deconstructing ourselves to return to the silence.

Wow!  So, Parkinson’s is just more deconstructing of who I think I am.  As I have written previously, on many levels I understand that I am not this body, this person nor these emotions going through this life as me.  Yet this view of breaking it down, letting it all go, in order to be better prepared to return to the silence is intriguing.

Somehow this new awareness is a calling, an acknowledging that the Self I need pay heed to the most is not the ‘self’ that appears as me.  Thus, the need is growing to continue the process of deconstructing into the silence, to sit a while longer and become more deeply aware of the Self witnessing this process.

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